Everyone is an Aunty

Published: 2021-05-27 22:40:01 +0100

So…I was talking to my mum a couple of weeks ago and she was telling me about her time at a family gathering. Now just for some context, I would compare my family to a blow pop or a lollipop. At the center, is the core family, the people who you actually know and want to get to. But, to get there you need to lick through layers of excess family.

And they are good at times, don’t get me wrong that’s why you go through the trouble of licking through them; but you only really care about the centre.

Anyway, she was telling me about this aunty who was asking about me. Which was sweet. She was like “do you remember aunty beep”, she used to hold you when you were a baby”. When she asked me this, 2 points came to mind:

Now to tell the truth, I can’t tell aunty A from aunty B. I don’t know the names of any of my aunties. They are all just called aunty. At one time I did try to remember their names, but then I found out that not all my aunties are actually my relatives. Yeah, cause in Nigerian culture any adult who is acquainted with your parents are deemed aunty or uncle.

Do you know how scary that is as a young individual, you get close to someone feeling like family just to find out they were just some random person who your mum met at the hair salon! It scars you for life!

Mind blown! Life is a lie, is anyone truly my family? I was too scared to confront relatives I actually liked just to find out they were not actually family at all. But ignorance is bliss so I won’t ask. Everyone can just be aunty/uncle and that is all that is to be said. Sorry aunties and uncles who are reading this , I may not actually know your name, but I probably couldn’t pronounce it right anyway so it’s for the best.

Second, of course I don’t remember an aunty who held me when I was a baby. I had barely figured out my facial structure at that point, I was just a blob of nonsense flesh. Life was hard, I had no time to start remembering faces. Heck, I was still trying to figure out this random person who kept trying to make me call her mum.

The bigger question is why does she remember me? Does she go around remembering all the babies she has carried? Being, like I’m going to go away for a couple of decades and you better remember me when I return?

No, I don’t remember you, and honestly I doubt you remember me that much, but for asking of me I will do you the courtesy of pretending to remember you and send my love. Hi Aunty, Long time! See you in a couple years!

But honestly, I love being a part of a large family. It makes you feel like you are a part of something bigger. Cause you know if anything happens there are a couple people out there ,who will give just a bit more of a shit than other people on how you are doing. It’s like getting a warm handshake, you are still cold but it’s pleasant to have.